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Geraldine

Friend's husband flirting with another woman

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What would you do if you see your friend's husband flirting/cheating with another woman? I mean, what would you do at the precise moment that you see him? Would you confront him?

The background:

(I'm calling our friends Linda and Taco)

Mike and I were at a reunion and 2 friends (they're a couple) started telling us about an event they attended in another city from work and many people was there with their wives.

But a friend of Taco went to the event without his wife, and this friend of Taco was flirting shamelessly with another woman. The discussion between Linda and Taco started when Linda told us that the wife of the "cheater" is super close friend of hers, and as soon as the other woman at the reunion went to the bathroom, Linda put the cheater on the spotlight in front of everybody about him flirting, telling him things like "I would like to see you like that when you are with your wife and kids! laughing, helpful... every time I see you with her and your kids you don't hide that you are so annoyed to be with them". Linda says the the cheater excuse was "Well, they're 2 kids!"

Anyway, Taco, on the other hand said "yes, he was acting wrong, all wrong, because many of the wives will think we all behave like that when our women are not around, but Linda, it was not your place to tell him that".

The discussion between our friends started to rise to dangerous zones because she was "of course I was going to give him a piece of my mind, his wife is MY friend!" while Taco was saying "It was not your place to tell him anything" and so on and so on... Mike and I just looked at each other like "Oh oh!" and in fact they left the reunion kind of mad at each other.

My question is what would you if you see him cheating?

The only time I was in a situation like that, it was too late, Mike and I saw a friend and it was bar so it was kind of dark, and I thought he was there with his wife, so Mike and I came to their table to say hi, and surprise, he introduced to us the other woman as "a friend". We sat in another table and the friend and the woman left 2 minutes later.

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That's a tough spot to be in. I always say the safest thing is to confront the cheater so I think linda did the right thing. Of course a man wouldn't think that way. Maybe confront the cheater and tell him he has to tell his wife or you will?? I don't know, I'm such a wimp I would probably let it go and then let the guilt eat me up for not saying something.

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It really is, because if you say something you will be like a snitcher (sorry, maybe it is not the correct term).

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Really? :D (I'm not daring you or anything) but I would like to see that

:popcorn:

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Lol when my friend Rodney would, flirt with girls at work I would always tell him I was going to tattle on him to his wife.

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I don't know what I would do but I am not the confrontational type - I wouldn't have it in me to out him right there.

I'm more of a I give you a disapproving death stare and will confront you in private later.

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Rach, I love your idea of tell it on the mountain, but I don't know man. Remember when my friend Pete was sneaking in our house and stealing weed? I never told his boyfriend Chris (who is one of my besties). I sometimes feel like I should have but what if they cut me out? And Todd confronted Pete, and he did it again after that!! So maybe I'm a wimp and maybe cheating would be different. Like if Pete were cheating on Chris I think I would have told him, if it was just flirting I would confront Pete and tell him how unbecoming it is.

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To me flirting is so disrespectful. Like let's suppose Todd was alone at a party of mutual friends and he was seriously flirting with other women? wouldn't you want to know? to me flirting is testing the waters, and it's very serious. plus it makes the wife/girlfriend look like a fool in the eyes of everyone, like she doesn't even know her bf is an asshole. I'd be embarrassed.

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Oh for sure I'd want to know Rach, but I don't know that I'd have the guts to tell. Like I didn't tell Chris that Pete was ripping off our weed. That's why it's messed up. I'd surely want to know, but I don't know if I'd have the guts to tell. I guess I'm scared of the "kill the messenger" thing.

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Oh i see what you mean, i confused wanting to know, with being able to tell. I could tell. Things like that really anger me because I always flip unto me, what if that was Chuck. I'd want to be told he's humiliating me.

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