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MelodySoul

Now I can do the single ladies dance

37 posts in this topic

That was one of the first things one of my close friends said to me, when we ended it "now you can do the single ladies dance" hahaha.

So here's my journal!!!

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So just to recap

I now have:

my new apartment lined up

a new bank account

i have an appointment on wednesday to have an IUD put in and get tested for STD's (because I don't trust his lying ass as far as I can throw him)

Alsoooo I had a date last night. It was with a guy who I've been friends with for a couple of years who has always been interested, it was fun we went out for dinner, then fro yo and then just talked at my place for a bit. He didn't make a move or anything but I wasn't really ready for that anyway. It was very fun to date again though! I'm feeling so free right now and loving life.

I know it seems crazy to be so okay right now but I just know in my heart this was the best thing for me. Especially now that all this stuff is coming out about how he was lying to me throughout our whole relationship, apparently he had been smoking behind my back for years, and to be honest I feel like he may have been cheating to some extent. SO SEE YA LATER ASSHOLE!!!

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Melo, I'm really pissed at him right now, and I don't even know him! He lied to you and that pisses me :ninjastar:

good luck with the doctor, and the IUD, I had one removed maybe 3 or 4 years ago because it gave me cystic acne. It was hormonal acne but the culprit was the IUD.

I wish you a successful, single life. You deserve the best, bonita :)

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Oh y'all better get the popcorn I hope this journal gets juicy. :lol:

:lol:

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Melo, I'm really pissed at him right now, and I don't even know him! He lied to you and that pisses me :ninjastar:

good luck with the doctor, and the IUD, I had one removed maybe 3 or 4 years ago because it gave me cystic acne. It was hormonal acne but the culprit was the IUD.

I wish you a successful, single life. You deserve the best, bonita :)

Did you have the mirena? or the copper IUD. I'm getting the copper one because it has no hormonal effects. Which means it won't kill my sex drive like the pill did.

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Yay!!! for your new journal. Glad you got out on a date!!! You have every right to get out there and live your life.

Good riddance to the past and the 10lbs.

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Ohhhhhhhhhhhh hell to the N-O!

:)

I just had to say that. He sounds like J except I caught on to his lies in time to cut everything off before marrying that fuckwad!

I knew you'd get your groove back. You are too beautiful to be held back by that dumbass! He better pray your tests all come back clear or I'm going to cut his shit off and shove it down his throat.

This journal better get juicy. I'm so glad you jumped right back into life instead of wallowing in a Pity party. Life goes on so keep it moving my dear.

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Yay!!! for your new journal. Glad you got out on a date!!! You have every right to get out there and live your life.

Good riddance to the past and the 10lbs.

This!

I'm glad your outlook is so positive right now. Definitely following this journal!

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Melo, I'm really pissed at him right now, and I don't even know him! He lied to you and that pisses me :ninjastar: good luck with the doctor, and the IUD, I had one removed maybe 3 or 4 years ago because it gave me cystic acne. It was hormonal acne but the culprit was the IUD. I wish you a successful, single life. You deserve the best, bonita :)
Did you have the mirena? or the copper IUD. I'm getting the copper one because it has no hormonal effects. Which means it won't kill my sex drive like the pill did.

I don't remember, it wasn't copper, I remember the doctor showed it to me, it was white... but I don't think it was the hormonal IUD.

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Oh also I know it hasn't been in a healthy way but I've lost 10 lbs since all this shit, so that's a bonus. lol

Good for the 10lbs.

Whenever I break up with an ex I would say I just lost (his weight) pounds overnight!

I'm really so happy for you.

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I know it seems crazy to be so okay right now but I just know in my heart this was the best thing for me. Especially now that all this stuff is coming out about how he was lying to me throughout our whole relationship, apparently he had been smoking behind my back for years, and to be honest I feel like he may have been cheating to some extent. SO SEE YA LATER ASSHOLE!!!

Wow, wow, wow. I can't stand it. Good for you for taking control of your life, like, now, instead of sitting around waiting for him to come back. He wanted a dramatic change, and it looks like you're the one getting the transformation!

On IUDs: I loved my copper-T. After years of hormone-based therapy, it was a great change (though painful insertion). Since the strings hang down and are sharp at first, definitely check with your doctor to make sure that it won't interfere with condom use (in case there is a hump-about stage of the single lady dance). My doctor wouldn't even insert it until I convinced him that I was in a long-term relationship and not humping about.

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Woo Hoo! Good for you Melo, he is going to be soooooo sorry and you are going to be having the time of your life. Nice!

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Hi Melo!

I was wondering about the name change on FB ... sounds like you are better off :)

I'll be following!!

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Melo, I hope you do the Single Ladies dance better than this. Although it would be sort of funny if you did.

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I love seeing when ladies take control of their lives.....It is so great to see you so happy and in control...You will have no problems for sure....

Good Luck and I certainly look forward to following even more of your transformation...It is so freeing...

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I love seeing when ladies take control of their lives.....It is so great to see you so happy and in control...You will have no problems for sure....

Good Luck and I certainly look forward to following even more of your transformation...It is so freeing...

Yes. I admire you so much, Melo.

It's bittersweet that you're going on dates. I'm still shocked by it, you guys were so close, but you got to do you. I'm sorry you feel you have to get tested for vd's in case he cheated. Did he ever give you an indication that he did? or are you just playing it safe? It's still so hard to believe.

Can't wait to hear how your date went.

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The date was fun, very innocent. I got the feeling he was into me but hasn't really talked to me since so who knows, I'm not holding my breath. I had to see Jeff last weekend and it really messed me up, I've been in a bit of a dark place this last week. He also asked me to have our marriage certificate set aside because he wants to start divorce proceedings as soon as possible because he "met someone and this is the last step for him moving on". I actually laughed out loud to be honest, he just met someone a week ago and he thinks he is going to just start over and replace me. It's really messed up and I don't think he has dealt with anything at all. He actually told me he wants to find someone ASAP to start the family "I couldn't give him". That was one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me. :(

So right now I'm in a bit of a weird place where I'm very desperate for men to give me validation (hello daddy issues) and I know it's unhealthy, I need to learn how to find validation in myself.

I got the IUD in, it wasn't too bad but I've had spotting ever since which is annoying. Dana the doctor didn't even mention that actually, but I read about it online after. I tried feeling for the strings but couldn't find them. Doctor wants to trim them down next week and now I'm reading that there are pros and cons to that as well.

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What a horrible thing for him to say :( I'm so sorry seeing him had to throw your week off. I can imagine that it's going to be hard for a while, many ups and downs.

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That mother fucker! I knew it! I don't think he just met someone a week ago. I think he has known her for months. Melo, he is messed up, but that's not your problem. it's his. I'd like to see how long his "new" relationship lasts when he has no sense of commitment and runs away as soon as the going gets tough.

lol, he is SO going to regret losing you. Watch, mark.my.words, if you totally ignore him completely, he will come begging between 4-8 months.

I totally understand wanting validation from men. That's ok, just remember to keep your head up, and do you.

I would totally melt the gold into something symbolic and empowering.

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Oh.My.God. I want to say that I can't believe he said that to you, but after everything else, I can believe that he'd take such a cheap shot.

Just remember, say it over and over again, this is about him. This is not about you. These crazy things he's saying are about him. They are not about you.

It's good that you have your new place, you've prepared to move on, and there is no question that he expects to be moving on, too. You know where he stands, and that's a step in a direction.

I'm glad to hear the IUD was okay. And that the date was nice. It'd be tough to deal with googly eyes or bodice-ripping sex right now. Maybe a nice innocent date with someone who appreciates you was a good reminder that you are going to be okay?

Man, this is so shitty. I hope you're doing okay, even on your dark days.

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What an asshole. You know men always have to jump right into the next thing because it validates them. The reason it is so shitty is that when someone else is in the picture you guys don't get to realise what went wrong and try to heal and move on, it muddies the waters because now theres that element to contend with you think, is she prettier than I am, is she funnier, sexier , more patient etc. so it makes you wonder what was wrong with you personally instead of what went wrong in the relationship. It makes me sick.

Again, I think you have grown into this dynamic woman with a job in your field, good friends and a life that a young woman should be living and he couldn't handle it.

Hang in there Melo, I tell you I know it sucks because you want the pain gone NOW but time is the best healer, you will look back one day and know this is for the best.

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