Maria

Not so single anymore!

39 posts in this topic

Hmmmmmmmmmm I never thought I'd be IN LOVE. I am TERRIFIED of it. I have not been in love for many years. I have loved men but have not been IN LOVE for many, many yrs.

I have fallen head over heels in just 3 short months with A. It has been a rollercoaster ride because he came out of nowhere to flip my life upsidedown and has changed me in so many ways. All on the positive side thankfully. The downside is that he has a past that jumped right back into the present and turned my world around. This is what made me realize I was in love with him because I decided to stand by his side instead of sending him on his way like I have with others. He completes me in every way. When he is not by my side I feel alone and empty. Right now he is not by my side and I miss him and think of him all of the time. I cannot wait for him to come back home where he needs to be for Thanksgiving.

He has worked his way not only into my life but into the monsters lives as well. Thankfully they are older so he is able to communicate with them about things. He talked to both of the boys when we 1st started dating because he said that they are young men and he needed them to know where he stood with me. He also wanted to define his role in their lives which made them have a greater respect for him. He didn't talk to Dezrae the way he did with the boys but she knows the deal.

I had a long talk with her a few days ago about everything. She knew I was unhappy with J when I was with him and she saw the change in me once A came in and knocked me off my feet. I have dated a few guys in the 19mths since my breakup with J. The monsters only met 1 other guy I was seeing because he is my mechanic and he came to the house a few times when I had car problems. I have never been big on bringing men around until I have been with them for awhile. That was not the case with A. I was spending so much time with him when I was not working that Markus called me on it. As I was heading out the door one night Markus said, you need to bring over whoever it is you are spending all this time with so I can meet him. It was funny that he said that because he noticed I was different and had commented about it before. A is my everything aside from the monsters.

Even though I love this man with all my heart I am TERRIFIED of the future. It seems like I sit around waiting for him to fuck up. I mean at my age I know anyone I meet is going to have a past. A does and as much as I hate it I do not judge him for the past because that was done. I am definitely not the same person I was and have made many mistakes in my past. I am struggling with transitioning back into being in love.

Falling in love at 36 is much different than thinking you are falling in love at 16. I honestly feel I never knew love until he came into my life.

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Good for you Maria! I think it is great that you guys addressed this with the kids. Maria, you have worked so hard to raise those kids and make a good living you deserve to be happy. If you don't take the risk, you don't get the reward!hug.gif

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:wub: That's fantastic Maria!!! IMO, falling in love can be a bit scary so I think it's normal to feel the way you feel. He sounds like a nice guy and sounds like the monsters are taking to him well so that's great. You work so hard to provide for and make everyone happy, you deserve to be happy too. I'm excited for you!!!

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How sweet and inspiring for everyone who is looking for love after a divorce or separation. I feel like I just read a passionate novella. Good for you! Honey, you deserve it after all this crap you've been through. Between your ex and your house problems I think it's about time you had something sweet like this happen to you. Good for you chulita.

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Good for you Maria! I think it is great that you guys addressed this with the kids. Maria, you have worked so hard to raise those kids and make a good living you deserve to be happy. If you don't take the risk, you don't get the reward!hug.gif

Thank you Lola! You are so right about taking the risk and getting the reward. He is my reward for sure.

wub.gif That's fantastic Maria!!! IMO, falling in love can be a bit scary so I think it's normal to feel the way you feel. He sounds like a nice guy and sounds like the monsters are taking to him well so that's great. You work so hard to provide for and make everyone happy, you deserve to be happy too. I'm excited for you!!!

Amelie it's more than a bit scary. I get butterflies in my stomach to the point that I don't know what to do sometimes. I want to hug him and hold onto him forever so that he can never go anywhere. I told him I was going to lock him in the house and set the alarm so that if he tries to leave the alarm company will contact me :)

Allan says all he can think about is making me happy. Never in my life has anyone loved me the way he does. I am always on cloud9.gif now.

How sweet and inspiring for everyone who is looking for love after a divorce or separation. I feel like I just read a passionate novella. Good for you! Honey, you deserve it after all this crap you've been through. Between your ex and your house problems I think it's about time you had something sweet like this happen to you. Good for you chulita.

Rachel it feels like I am living a novella for sure. I definitely have been through much crap and much stress that I didn't need. He is sweet and makes me laugh until I cry. I just laughed that you wrote Chulita because that is what he calls me. I believe in signs and the fact that you wrote Chulita is a sign that he really is good for me he.gif

BTW he cooks ol' school Rican too. El haces un arroz tan rico and carne that makes us all 132.gif It's like walking into Abuela's house when I come home and smell all those wonderful familiar scents I smell when I walk into her house in BK. He also cleans and does laundry, what's not to love? happy.gif

Yay Maria! I'm so excited for you! Wishing you the best in this relationship! smile.gif

Thanks Deirdre. I am very hopeful with him.

I posted in your HJ last night but it looks like it ate my post Anger.gif so I will go back and post how great everything is coming along.

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BTW he cooks ol' school Rican too. El haces un arroz tan rico and carne that makes us all Posted Image It's like walking into Abuela's house when I come home and smell all those wonderful familiar scents I smell when I walk into her house in BK. He also cleans and does laundry, what's not to love?
Ok that's it!! he's the ONE!!!

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BTW he cooks ol' school Rican too. El haces un arroz tan rico and carne that makes us all Posted Image It's like walking into Abuela's house when I come home and smell all those wonderful familiar scents I smell when I walk into her house in BK. He also cleans and does laundry, what's not to love?
Ok that's it!! he's the ONE!!!

rofl3.gif

Pero seriously, the man can cook! According to Markus "nothing bad can come out of his pot" he made costillas one day, he had taken the meat off the bone and it was so tender. La Nena LOVES his fried chicken and his arroz con guandules jawdrop.gif .

When I know he's at the house while I am at work I am like this at work waiting to get home

Chicken or beef? Hmmm

thinking2.gif

The other thing he does is put my drink in the freezer before I get home so I have slushie green tea. LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!

He also drinks Bustelo and even though I am not a coffee drinker I have always loved that smell. I swear it's like being at Abuela's.

She is my muneca, I love her and miss her so much which is probably why I love that he makes me feel like I am back at her house. whistling.gif

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Maria I am so happy for you! You deserve to have someone take care of you after all this time of you taking care of everything and everyone.

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I'm very happy for you. You deserve to be happy, you are a beautiful person.

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Thank you ladies.

I am so incredibly in love with this man. It amazes me that I could love a man the way I love him. His imperfections make him absolutely perfect (if that makes any sense). The best part of it all is that I believe he truly loves me for me as I am.

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Ah ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss you all so much. I still have no computer. My Mother's Day gift from Dez was her laptop for the day so I popped by here. I really wish I could catch up with everyone today but I cannot.

I am still in love so what more can I ask for. Hopefully I get a new computer soon so I can come back. Not to much has changed in my life other than the fact that Eric moved out. My oldest left in Jan and I handled it well. He lives 15 mins away and stops by to eat & do laundry on a regular :)

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Maria, it's so nice to hear from you! I'm glad you're still in love, mama! keep that love burning! hope you're having a great spring in the city. :hug:

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Damn it's been awhile since I been on. Life is crazy as usual and I am trying to find my way back here on a regular now that Dez got a new laptop and I have my own back again. I miss all of you ladies and believe me I could have used some words of encouragement a few weeks ago.

Dezrae got hit by a car riding her bike home from school and I felt like I was losing my mind. I NEVER felt so lost because I just couldn't get it out of my mind that 1st week. She was out of school almost 2 weeks and it was hard seeing her not at 100%. I am thankful she is a strong young lady that doesn't let anything keep her down. She is still not 100% but she is pretty much walking without a limp anymore and she is anxious to get a new bike to jump back on it. I am not as eager as she is. If I could have my way she'd be locked in her room so nothing could harm her.

Markus is Markus and drives me crazy but that is because he is a mini me and knows how to push my buttons.

Eric still lives on his own and is doing well. I am thankful that he is a smart young man that makes the right choices .

I hope everyone is doing well. Going to try to catch up on everyones journals and see the new babies :D

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wow, i'm so sorry! I'm glad she's ok!

how's your new love life going?

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Thanks Rachel, she is pretty much at 100% now.

Ah el amor mio. He :hail: me so I am on :cloud9: Kidding we worship one another equally!

Still in love and cannot imagine my life without him. He drives me nuts to the point that I want to kill him but that just shows how much I love him.

We have our differences as all couples do but at the end of the day it's all good. He is mi media naranja!

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Even though I love this man with all my heart I am TERRIFIED of the future. It seems like I sit around waiting for him to fuck up. I mean at my age I know anyone I meet is going to have a past.

I was once there literally waiting for them to mess up just so I can save myself from the pains of love. I'm glad I've changed that with my last relationship because I have no regrets. With each breakup I tell myself I gave it my best and there's no what ifs or could have beens haunting me. Luckily I found someone special not too long after and I wasn't seeking then but we found each other.

Did you marry this man Maria?

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No marriage but we are still together. I will say there have been moments I wanted to walk away but we are one and he still makes my heart jump. I wrote that 3 months in, Feb 1 marks 2.5 yrs for us. ;)

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